FREE article #34





In business, what is the most important part of a phone conversation with a client or prospective client? 

Is it the beginning of the call? Is it the close? Is it something in the middle? 

Many would say it’s the first impression, the first 5 to 10 seconds, and yes, this initial contact is especially vital. Other parts of the conversation are also essential to achieve the success you want.

But regarding the absolute most important part of the call, all of those are wrong. What I am about to share will help you more than any other advice I or anyone can give you regarding a conversation on the phone, or even in person. 

I have not seen it written about or talked about anywhere else, but when I discovered this, the huge impact was immediate and the resulting profits were significant.

Read carefully.

More than the beginning, more than any part of the middle, and more than the close of the call, there is a period of 10 to 30 seconds which supersedes in importance and is paramount for achieving success with the conversation.

Knowing this will increase your success rate immensely. It is something I have been doing for years and it is magic. Hey, it’s real magic.

What is it? When is it?

It is the 10 to 30 seconds prior to the call. Yes.

Stay with me on this. It is the moments before you ring the client. Yes, you might in those moments plan what you are about to say in the call, but I am talking about something even more essential than that.

Before you ring the number on the phone, it is vital that you earnestly state the following to yourself. Let’s say your client is John Doe of a company called Vandelay Industries.

Depending on who it is and their specific situation, you say to yourself something like the following: 

“I wonder how John is doing today. Last time he told me about his daughter entering high school and his son had a leg injury. I wonder how that’s all going. He also told me about a new entity which Vandelay just acquired. I really wonder how the transition is working out.”

Or if it’s a potential client who you don’t know as yet, you say to yourself something on the order of the following: 

“Hmmmm, I wonder how John is doing. I wonder what his life is like. I wonder what his goals and aspirations are. I wonder where he is from. What is his background? I see he is located near Sacramento. I wonder if he knows my friend who moved there.…”

In other words, the key I am sharing is START TO CARE ABOUT THIS PERSON BEFORE YOU MAKE THE CALL. 

Yes, yes, yes. Care. Be concerned. Get inside them. Honor them. Be fascinated by them BEFORE you ring their number!!!!!!!  

Sit for a bit of time and think about that person before ever making contact. 

Earnestly care about them.


Because then when you finally do make the call, this sense of caring will intrinsically come across in your voice, in your tone, it will come across in your essence, it will come across through your entire being, naturally and without trying, without sounding fake and forced, and the client will subconsciously pick up on the fact he/she is not just another conquest for booking more business. 

After all, what do customers want??? 

Think about it. What do they really want?

They want someone who cares. 

Boom! They want someone who deeply cares about solving a problem, a need, a concern.

So, deeply, earnestly, profoundly care before you make the call. 

Really think about the client with true earnest wonder. 

The operative word is “wonder.” 

When you wonder about someone, you care. 

They are a feeling, thinking, breathing human being with concerns, worries, joys and sorrows, failures and successes, just like you. Wouldn’t you want someone to care and treat you like a human being too? So treat them the same way. Boom! Kapow! Bam! 

Every person is fascinating, so have a sense of wonder about them.

Every business is fascinating, so have a sense of wonder about their business.


Of course, even though you may wonder about their life in full, about their family, their hopes and dreams, it doesn’t mean that when you actually speak with them you have to find out about any of those things. In many cases you won’t. And in many case it just won’t be appropriate.  Regardless, wonder about that person in full in addition to wondering about the business entity where they work.

The point is to have in your mind an earnest marvel of speculation about them. 

When you do it, they will sense it. They will feel it, even if not consciously. 

And when they sense it, they will connect with you.

And when they connect with you, they will wonder more about you. 

And when they wonder more about you, they will connect even more deeply with you. 

And when they connect even more deeply, they will most likely want to work with you.  

And when they want to work with you, you’ll get the business.  
Boom!!!! Simple, easy.

So, what if you are not initiating the call? What if your phone rings and it’s a prospect or a known client, either way, which means because they are calling, you won’t have those 10 to 30 seconds prior to the conversation?

You may do one of two things. When you hear the ring, immediately begin to do this technique over 3 to 4 seconds rather than 30, then answer the phone. Your settings should allow your phone to ring for 6 or 7 seconds before it goes to voicemail. Use those seconds wisely. Even if you don’t know who is calling, care about them, wonder about them.

And if it happens to be a telemarketer, tell them, “Hey, I really care about you, but not enough to buy something right now.”

Ha! And ha! 

Actually, if it is indeed a telemarketer, use this opportunity to hear them and chat with them for a short minute. This is a chance to learn either what not to do, or in rare instances, you might hear something wonderful they are doing to create connection. Use this as a learning moment But I can guarantee 99.99% of them are not caring before they make their calls, and thus this is why you, I and everyone detest telemarketing calls. There is no indication they care, no sense they are in the business of helping, no hint they ever truly wonder about you.

The other option you may do for when you have an incoming call is let it go to voicemail, then listen to the voicemail, then take 10 to 30 seconds to be fascinated about them and start to care about them, then immediately call them back. 

And by the way, this advice also works for face-to-face meetings. Do the same for a minute or two in a quiet place prior to meeting with someone. You will be more likely to walk into the meeting already as a friend, not as a stranger.

(c) copyright 2019, by Sidney Friedman.

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© copyright 1998 - 2020, by Sidney Friedman, mentalist, futurist, author, "psychic," speaker, and EVENT LIFTER for corporate entertainment and party event entertainment in Chicago, New York, Los Angeles and worldwide.

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